HI
Yesterday I was delivering some training in communication skills to a group of 16 Business Executives who are often faced with speaking and presenting to the media. All was going well and then we had a break for lunch. The venue was a very nice hotel and of course there was a bar as well as a buffet provided.

After lunch we resumed the workshop and it became very apparent that one person had had a little too much to drink. He began to speak very loudly and was obviously going to be disruptive. At first I just ignored him and carried on regardless. No joy! He was really being a pain. I couldn’t get the attention of the group and things were getting out of hand.

Then I remembered a couple of tips that I had picked up from Hermain Hilton - her words came back to me “You can only be heckled if you believe more in the heckler than in yourself” So I turned things around by walking up to the offending person and standing right next to him. I smiled and said “This is your workshop and I don’t want to waste your money so I’d like to let you know you have the right to remain silent” Turning to the whole group I said “Please make sure he exercises his rights”

Everyone laughed and I had got the whole group to be responsible for any further disruptions.
I cannot say this was the best workshop ever, but we did manage to get through the afternoon with the minimum of interruptions. So what did I learn from this?
That I need to stay focused and in control even when I feel threatened or vulnerable. If I am confident and show it to the participants then they will respect me. I also think that it is very important to be polite and respectful to the heckler. In this case the man had only had a good lunch and was not rude or agressive. Humour can also defuse a situation and although this was an experience I wouldn’t like to repeat I feel that I learnt a lot.

If you have any tips for dealing with hecklers I’d love to hear from you.

Have a good week
Jackie Arnold
jackie@coach4executives.com

Today I was able to launch my first book entitled “Raise Your Glasses Please” - How to deliver a short speech or toast and enjoy doing it! As a result of mentoring people at our local speakers club and coaching people on how to gain more confidence, I wrote a book called “Banish Your Butterflies.” This book was a little similar to another book by the same publisher so they asked if I would write a book on how to deliver short speeches and give toasts. The research was fasinating and I met up with a wide variety of people who gave me tips and hints on how they had crafted their speeches for various occasions. I was pleased to see that a lot of people wanted to know about the toasts quotes & proverbs I was including in the book. It is always useful to use something particularly appropriate or personal when making a short speech.

Did you know that toasting has a very interesting history? I didn’t. Have you heard the reasons for a bride wearing a veil or why we throw rice or confetti at weddings? Have you ever seen or heard a female Toastmaster, do you know what she does? All this and more I discovered when researching this book, it was so interesting. I also discovered that toasting happens all over the world and that there are a wide variety of customs associated with toasting, some of them are included in the book.

Perhaps you have a system for planning and delivering a short speech and inserting a suitable phrase or quote to give it spice. If not have a look at “Raise you Glasses Please” - you may find just what you were looking for! www.amazon.co.uk

Now I have been asked to write another book on public speaking so watch this space. Any tips and hints gratefully received - have you given a good speech in the past at a particular business event or special occasion? Let me know, and if you agree you may see it in print with your name attached.

Authenticity is key

This week I was coaching someone who was honing his speech for a local competition. It is often at these times when we are anxious to be successful that we begin to “perform” and forget who we are as people.

When we speak in public the audience wants to see who we really are. They want to feel the person touching them in a way that enables them to be drawn into the world of the speaker. I noticed that as we began to work on the connection with the audience that the speech took on a new life. The life of the speaker, his true thoughts and emotions came through and he immediately connected with me and I began to feel and “be” in his world. This allowed me to really listen to him and hear and experience the words rather than just have them bounce off me.

Sometimes in our desire to be successful we introduce ways of speaking that others have used. Mannerisms, gestures and stress patterns that our not ours naturally. The result is a false picture and the effect is to turn the audience off, far better to slightly exaggerate our own natural ways of being. When we speak on a stage it is necessary to make things larger so that we can be seen and heard at the back. Our natural gestures need to be bigger and our voice needs to be clearer and more powerful. However, the nature of who we really are is so vital in keeping the audience with us as we speak. We need to be as authentic as possible if we really want to have the greatest impact.

Who have you heard speak recently? What was your reaction? Did you feel the connection with the speaker and really believe they were authentic?

Martin Luther King was an incredible speaker. I remember the first time I heard him speak and how I was moved to tears – I was twelve years old and I really felt his words although I did not even understand all that he said.

My client came 2^nd in the competition – a really fantastic achievement as this was his first real test in the speaking world. Was he authentic – yes! Did he draw the audience in - yes! Was he pleased – of course!

Speaking in public when you do not have English mother tongue

This week I have been coaching a Spanish national who has been working in the UK for ten years. This is the first time her colleagues have been brave enough to tell her that they have real difficulty when she is presenting reports and that she could benefit from voice coaching.

She is a lovely person and we are having great fun with all the tongue twisters and poetry readings! Foreign nationals really do struggle when it comes to speaking in public as part of ther job. The tongue is often used in a different way and the stress patterns and intonation are nowhere near the rise and fall of English. In the case of Spanish speakers they tend to speak faster and flatter, this makes it very hard for the listener to pick up on any key words. With my client we have been working on selecting and stressing key words and phrases to bring out the meaning. We have also been working on the consonants such as t,d,l,n,r,s,&z as these are particualrly difficult. An example of the kind of phrase she has difficulty with is: “Soft, silent, timelessly slow. Silvery moon shine on descending snow.” or “Such shouted anticipation”

I have got my client to poke her tongue out and touch her nose to give it more flexibility (this should be done in a private place - obviously!)

When working on pitch we have looked at ways to bring more variety and reading poems helps this process. She has enjoyed learning the music and rhythm of the language.

Any foreign national working in the UK can benefit from voice coaching as they have similar fears when confronted with large audiences and even more difficulties to overcome. It needn’t be boring - we have had great fun!

Jackie Arnold

Voice Coach

Well - up to now I always said I couldn’t speak in public but..perhaps I can!

I had an interesting client this week who was very adament he could not speak in public. “I always dry up, I always feel nervous and I know I will always fail.”

So I asked him if he had ever spoken in public and he said yes but it was always a total disaster. “Oh so when I heard you the other day chairing your meeting you felt that was a total disaster did you?”

“Well no” he replied “I am quite used to speaking at meetings and I know what I need to say. I have no trouble in speaking to people at work as I am used to it”

Often when people tell me that they are afraid of speaking in public I challenge them on the “I always dry up” and “I always fail” as we are all speaking in public every day in one way or another. If you make a telephone call in a crowded office where others are listening, if you make a complaint in a restaurant when there is a mistake on the bill or if you give a report at a meeting in front of your peers or your manager. These are all ways in which you speak in public. Yes, of course this is not the same as speaking to an audience, but “always” and “can’t” can be changed to “sometimes” and “perhaps I can” when we talk about giving a speech. This immediately sends another message to our subconscious - it frees the mind into thinking that there may be a way to beat this fear after all!

My client who felt that speaking in public was always a disaster realised that actually he was speaking very often in public with no nerves at all. So what did he do that was successful and how could he repeat this when facing a larger audience? He began by noticing that he was quite successful when speaking at meetings. He spoke clearly and gave everyone excellent eye contact. He interacted with those around him and the meetings were positive and energising. Looking at all these points was very encouraging for him and it was a basis to work on for the event in the future where he would be expected to speak to a couple of hundred people. Duing this process he went from feeling a failure at speaking to feeling that, ok maybe there was hope for him yet - I’ll keep you posted.

Jackie Arnold

Voice Coach

Your posture, your image, your voice

1/ Your posture

Stand in front of a mirror – what do you see?

Stand tall but not stiff – imagine there is a thread pulling you up from the top of your head. Keep your neck relaxed on your shoulders and your hands at the side.

Look straight ahead at a point just above your eye level – take a breath and smile.

Soften your jaw, unclench your teeth and relax your tongue.

Check that your weight is evenly distributed, feet slightly apart.

Go through this in your mind and then take up this position before you begin to speak at a meeting or event.

2/ Your image

How you look is the first vital message you convey to your audience.

Your audience will make a 5 second judgement as soon as they see you.

Are you smartly dressed and appropriate for the occasion?

Is your hair clean and brushed?

Have you taken two minutes to look in the mirror before entering the room?

Are you doing yourself justice every time you make an appearance?

Looking smart makes you look professional and gives YOU confidence

If you unsure it is worth asking a colleague to give you feedback.

3/ Your voice

Your voice is unique and special so take care of it!

Using correct posture will have a direct impact on your vocal ability.

You can help to exercise your voice by humming on a regular basis to exercise the vocal cords.

Slide up and down the scale - repeat this several times daily.

With an open mouth gently hum down your nose – use the “ng” in ring.

Move up and down & play with different notes and speeds to increase flexibility.

If your jaw is stiff say “Yah Yah Yah” several times with your mouth slightly open.

With a good posture, a smart image and a pleasant voice you can make great impact!

Jackie Arnold - Voice Coach

Everyone can learn to speak with confidence you only need to take that first step!

What to do when I need more confidence?

- Realise you are unique

Know that you have talents and abilities that others do not. Ask yourself when you have been successful, what was your attitude then? What did you tell yourself that helped you through. Write down the times when you have achieved something you were proud of and keep the list where you can see it. Take with both hands the negative voices that plague you and actually put them in the bin - yes that one in the corner - do it now!  Realise that those voices will only sit on your shoulder if you allow them to. You have a choice to thow them away every time they surface. The action of putting them into a bin and shutting the lid can be very liberating. Re-programme your self-image with expressions like “You can do this”, “Go for it”, “You have what it takes to be a great communicator”.

Featured Client

Mike was made redundant. He felt useless and had not been for an interview for many years. His self-confidence was rock bottom and he lacked motivation and energy. After talking it over we concentrated on his strengths and successes in his previous job. He set up a plan to take small steps each day and we celebrated when he was doing well.

Jackie Arnold - Voice Coach

Ask a direct question - when you ask one (or all) you have a response - you are no longer alone.

Ask a hypothetical question - What do you imagine would happen if … Would you agree that if we … I have often wondered if ..
Make a surprising statement - give a startling fact Research indicates that … Did you know that …

Bring in experiences you have shared with your audience (if possible) Do you remember when we … Going back to … I expect you recall that …

Announce some interesting news/information (do your homework!)

Create possibilities for the audience to make gestures or actions Ask for a show of hands … get people to close their eyes and imagine … Ask a couple of people to come up and share their ideas (if appropriate)

Relate an anecdote

Use props for a demonstration

How can I cope with a dry mouth?

Keep a glass of water on the table beside you. Do not be afraid to pause during your speech as audiences need time to take in what you are saying and often welcome a pause. Why am I not able to project my voice better?
Perhaps you are not breathing correctly or are nervous and tensing your throat muscles as a result. I can help you with this.
How can I calm my nerves?
The four P’s are helpful. Plan prepare prioritise and practice!

How can I plan effectively?
In a nutshell – brainstorm ideas, select three main points, expand them.

More questions will be added soon….
Please visit the fees and information page for further help.

Jackie has written a booklet entitled, “The 10 Steps to Successful Speaking” (And the 101 tips to get you there) - Cost £3.50. Please email Jackie if you would like to purchase a copy.

Select one person who you trust to give a mini presentation/speech to. Chose a topic you like and enjoy and which will interest him/her Begin by listing your main points: