Today I was going to a networking meeting but unfortunately broke down in the pouring rain on the way.  I was, however, well prepared and can therefore go next time with little preparation.

As someone who has been to many networking events I always try to find a different way of being remembered.  Of course business cards are useful but I collect more than I give out as this gives me added contacts.  Today I thought “What prop can I take to enable me to stand out from the crowd?”

I am  a voice coach and presentation skills trainer and have written two books on various aspects of public speaking.  When networking I usually prepare a few questions such as:

You know when people have to chair a meeting and really feel nervous?  or..

Have you ever felt you needed more confidence when addressing a business seminar?  or

How do you think and plan for a business presentation?

However today I decided to make a mock microphone and thrust it under the nose of my speed networking partners!  Have you ever had that done to you? It’s quite scary if you aren’t prepared and people always tell me they get so nervous they can’t think clearly.  Then I proceed to tell them that there are some really useful tips to prepare for even the most last minute situations.  We end up laughing and they feel relieved that the mic isn’t real!!

If you go to networking events on a fairly regular basis you will know that people get tired of hearing the same old lines.  What they never get tired of,  is amusing or genuine stories about your customers or services. 

Last time when I did a 10 mins presentation at a local event I told of a client of mine who had to meet and greet Prince William and introduce him to his staff.  He was simply terrified.  This was a very experienced engineer but he was totally unused to speaking in public.  However, when I asked him to tell me some amusing incidents that had happened during the year he was able to come up with several.  He then wove these stories into his welcoming speech and then introduced some of his staff who had been in the stories (naturally he got their permission first!)   This took the “Oh no now I have to speak in public” fear away as he was, in effect, just telling stories and enjoying the chance to show how hard he and his team had worked. 

My home made microphone has been a great prop in the past.  People always remember it and I was only sorry that today the weather got the better of my car (it needed a new battery!!)

Next time I think I’ll do a competition by numbering my business cards and pulling one out of a hat.  The winner will receive one of my “Speaking on Special Occasions” Hodder Ed. books. – www.howtobooks.com

Step one – Facing the fears

Your speaking fears and 101 tips to speak with success will be addressed in the following blogs 1 – 10

This week I was lucky to be invited to speak at a local Property Networking Club on “Setting and Achieving Goals”   – I was quite nervous as I had not spoken to this group before and I did not know the audience well.  However, I know that nerves are good as they give you a feeling of slight tension and this can be used to your advantage.  After doing some breathing exercises I focused on channeling that nervous tension into excitment and anticipation.  I tried to remember what my strengths were as a speaker and visualised myself in the room actully giving a good speech. I “saw” myself and where I would walk and where I would focus my attention. 

The message we deliver is far more important than our own feelings and I really wanted the audience to go away with something of value.  So here are some tips for the next time you speak (it helps me to remember them too! )  :

One – Top tips for facing your fears of public speaking:

Many people feel that the pressure is on them when asked to speak at a meeting, a family event or a business conference.  Butterflies start flying around and the nerves kick in.  However there are many great strategies to help you and this is the first of 10 tips blogs to help you on that path to speaking success.

1/ Remember that fear makes you sharper and heightens your reflexes – channel the fear so it becomes excitment

2/ Understand that fear usually occurs before your are on the stage – it often goes when you get into your stride.

3/ Use visualisation to “see” yourself giving a successful and interesting talk – do this on a regular basis before you speak

4/ Close your eyes and imagine the audience listening and applauding – tell yourself your message is more important than your impact

5/ Concentrate on what you do well – write down three things

6/ Practice what you feel is a challenge – use a mirror and ask your friends.

7/ Think about your desire to help and inform the audience – it’s not about you.

8/ If you memorise your opening and closing – the middle will take care of itself! (use small cards you can fit in your palm as aids)

9/ Arrive on time and greet as many friendly faces as possible

10/ Imagine you are talking to a group of your friends – “see” them in the audience.

 More tips to follow in subsequent blogs

Jackie

So there I am with my third book published and on the shelves!  But wait a minute what happened to the other two “Raise Your Glasses Please” & “Speaking on Special Occasions”  and how are they selling?  Well, that’s where the fun starts! 

Publishers do what they are good at – they publish and then they do a little bit of marketing for you and then…..it’s up to you!  I will never forget what my agent said when I brought out my first book on Public Speaking –  her very words were “The publishers buy you as much as they buy the book content”  In other words they look for people who can prove they are good at marketing and promotion.  Well I didn’t really believe that until now, because actually my agent was prooved right, it’s all down to the author to get the books noticed and selling.  So people who are famous get their books sold, regardless.  If you are high profile your books will sell just as your name can be lent to an advertisement or a newspaper article. 

So here we are the Jo Bloggs of the world looking to get our books sold and it takes a lot of effort, sweat and a few frustrated tears!  But hey lets not get too downhearted, after all we HAVE written a book, it is out there and our name is on the cover – that feels as if we’ve achieved something. 

So here I am in my office thinking how can I market both myself and my books?  Well I could hire a PR person to help me (could be good as they know who to call and what to say)  I could try phoning the local radio stations and mags to see if they are interested, I might also walk down on Brighton seafront with a banner (think I’ll give that a miss)  You see where I am going with this don’t you?  Short of  causing a scandal (now there’s an idea!) I am at a loss. 

Of course I am a public speaker and I have presented at conferences in the past so that seems like a solution.  However, how do I get myself in front of the right people for my latest book on “Coaching Skills for leaders in the Workplace” (PR agent again? free book ?) Yes I suppose I could contact all the Personal & Professional Development conferences and those doing Business & Career Development etc..Also I am thinking about the Women in Business and Enterprising Women’s conferences too…umm there’s a possibility they may be looking for speakers and presenters. 

last week I was asked to present at a local event on “The mindset of a winner – how to get and achive goals” which was fun – unpaid but at least 30 people could hear about my book and some even bought it!  Still I would like to reach 3000 if at all possible.   I have had some success on Linkedin.  I asked people to write a review on Amazon in exchange for a free copy of my book and I ‘ve had replies from all over the world.  That was a great way of connecting to like -minded people so that worked. 

Any more ideas out there? I’d welcome your experience and hope you have learned a little from mine too.

Jackie

Before giving a speech or presentation, I look out over the audience and smile before I start — this is something I always do. It’s a reminder to myself that I choose to enjoy it. Yet many people are more terrified of public speaking than they are of death itself. Perhaps it’s because there’s no security once you’re up in front of people. You’re totally exposed. But you also have tremendous opportunity — the chance to influence people, to make a difference in their lives, to have an impact. If security is more important than opportunity, you’ll deny yourself some tremendous opportunities, both to help others and to help yourself.
Last week I coached a young woman who had just been given a wonderful opportunity. She had been asked to present to the international board of directors at her company. She was terrified. Her words to me were:
“I am rubbish at public speaking, I dry up and feel totally inadequate.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I know that this young woman was an event manager in her last job. She had stood up and spoken in front of parents and children on a regular basis. She had presented ideas for events to her peers and taken the plans to the committee. She had organised events and was totally unaware that 50% of her job had been “public speaking”
I asked her to tell me about the times when she had given presentations and spoken in public. She was amazed to realise that she had, in fact, given many successful speeches and presentations. So what was it that was blocking her in her new role? She was considerably younger than most of the international board members. She had only been with the company for eight months and she felt inferior. She was anxious that questions might arise that she couldn’t answer. She also felt her voice was not strong enough.
So after some questioning what solutions did she come up with to help her? She decided to speak to her direct Boss who had asked her to present. She would find out exactly what information the board needed. She realised that her voice would be stronger when she was more confident. She would try to anticipate any questions that might arise and be comfortable with saying:

“I am not able to answer that right now but I will come back to you by the end of the day if at all possible” or “That’s an interesting question, may I come back to you on that?”
She was also going to create rapport by asking hypothetical questions and involving them in her presentation where possible. She would look at ways to do this and we would discuss them later. She was going to open the presentation with a couple of interesting facts that she felt would get their attention.
Being prepared to ask for help was a first step. Then to think about planning and organising her presentation to suit her audience. Finally, to realise that she was a competent speaker and that presenting to the international board was a privilege and a great opportunity.
Jackie Arnold

Speaking in public when you do not have English mother tongue

This week I have been coaching a Spanish national who has been working in the UK for ten years. This is the first time her colleagues have been brave enough to tell her that they have real difficulty when she is presenting reports and that she could benefit from voice coaching.

She is a lovely person and we are having great fun with all the tongue twisters and poetry readings! Foreign nationals really do struggle when it comes to speaking in public as part of ther job. The tongue is often used in a different way and the stress patterns and intonation are nowhere near the rise and fall of English. In the case of Spanish speakers they tend to speak faster and flatter, this makes it very hard for the listener to pick up on any key words. With my client we have been working on selecting and stressing key words and phrases to bring out the meaning. We have also been working on the consonants such as t,d,l,n,r,s,&z as these are particualrly difficult. An example of the kind of phrase she has difficulty with is: “Soft, silent, timelessly slow. Silvery moon shine on descending snow.” or “Such shouted anticipation”

I have got my client to poke her tongue out and touch her nose to give it more flexibility (this should be done in a private place – obviously!)

When working on pitch we have looked at ways to bring more variety and reading poems helps this process. She has enjoyed learning the music and rhythm of the language.

Any foreign national working in the UK can benefit from voice coaching as they have similar fears when confronted with large audiences and even more difficulties to overcome. It needn’t be boring – we have had great fun!

Jackie Arnold

Voice Coach

Well – up to now I always said I couldn’t speak in public but..perhaps I can!

I had an interesting client this week who was very adament he could not speak in public. “I always dry up, I always feel nervous and I know I will always fail.”

So I asked him if he had ever spoken in public and he said yes but it was always a total disaster. “Oh so when I heard you the other day chairing your meeting you felt that was a total disaster did you?”

“Well no” he replied “I am quite used to speaking at meetings and I know what I need to say. I have no trouble in speaking to people at work as I am used to it”

Often when people tell me that they are afraid of speaking in public I challenge them on the “I always dry up” and “I always fail” as we are all speaking in public every day in one way or another. If you make a telephone call in a crowded office where others are listening, if you make a complaint in a restaurant when there is a mistake on the bill or if you give a report at a meeting in front of your peers or your manager. These are all ways in which you speak in public. Yes, of course this is not the same as speaking to an audience, but “always” and “can’t” can be changed to “sometimes” and “perhaps I can” when we talk about giving a speech. This immediately sends another message to our subconscious – it frees the mind into thinking that there may be a way to beat this fear after all!

My client who felt that speaking in public was always a disaster realised that actually he was speaking very often in public with no nerves at all. So what did he do that was successful and how could he repeat this when facing a larger audience? He began by noticing that he was quite successful when speaking at meetings. He spoke clearly and gave everyone excellent eye contact. He interacted with those around him and the meetings were positive and energising. Looking at all these points was very encouraging for him and it was a basis to work on for the event in the future where he would be expected to speak to a couple of hundred people. Duing this process he went from feeling a failure at speaking to feeling that, ok maybe there was hope for him yet – I’ll keep you posted.

Jackie Arnold

Voice Coach

Your posture, your image, your voice

1/ Your posture

Stand in front of a mirror – what do you see?

Stand tall but not stiff – imagine there is a thread pulling you up from the top of your head. Keep your neck relaxed on your shoulders and your hands at the side.

Look straight ahead at a point just above your eye level – take a breath and smile.

Soften your jaw, unclench your teeth and relax your tongue.

Check that your weight is evenly distributed, feet slightly apart.

Go through this in your mind and then take up this position before you begin to speak at a meeting or event.

2/ Your image

How you look is the first vital message you convey to your audience.

Your audience will make a 5 second judgement as soon as they see you.

Are you smartly dressed and appropriate for the occasion?

Is your hair clean and brushed?

Have you taken two minutes to look in the mirror before entering the room?

Are you doing yourself justice every time you make an appearance?

Looking smart makes you look professional and gives YOU confidence

If you unsure it is worth asking a colleague to give you feedback.

3/ Your voice

Your voice is unique and special so take care of it!

Using correct posture will have a direct impact on your vocal ability.

You can help to exercise your voice by humming on a regular basis to exercise the vocal cords.

Slide up and down the scale - repeat this several times daily.

With an open mouth gently hum down your nose – use the “ng” in ring.

Move up and down & play with different notes and speeds to increase flexibility.

If your jaw is stiff say “Yah Yah Yah” several times with your mouth slightly open.

With a good posture, a smart image and a pleasant voice you can make great impact!

Jackie Arnold – Voice Coach

Everyone can learn to speak with confidence you only need to take that first step!

What to do when I need more confidence?

- Realise you are unique

Know that you have talents and abilities that others do not. Ask yourself when you have been successful, what was your attitude then? What did you tell yourself that helped you through. Write down the times when you have achieved something you were proud of and keep the list where you can see it. Take with both hands the negative voices that plague you and actually put them in the bin – yes that one in the corner – do it now!  Realise that those voices will only sit on your shoulder if you allow them to. You have a choice to thow them away every time they surface. The action of putting them into a bin and shutting the lid can be very liberating. Re-programme your self-image with expressions like “You can do this”, “Go for it”, “You have what it takes to be a great communicator”.

Featured Client

Mike was made redundant. He felt useless and had not been for an interview for many years. His self-confidence was rock bottom and he lacked motivation and energy. After talking it over we concentrated on his strengths and successes in his previous job. He set up a plan to take small steps each day and we celebrated when he was doing well.

Jackie Arnold – Voice Coach

The top ten questions you have asked

1. How can I calm my nerves before a speech/meeting etc?
The 4 “p’s” – Prioritise, Plan, Prepare, Practise.
2. What else can I do?

One way is to use breathing exercises to help you relax.
3. How do I prepare?
One method is to make sure you have a punchy beginning/ending and then divide the main text into 3 sections.
4. What do my audience want?

Good question! Ask them, ask the organiser, do your research.
5. What can I do to capture their attention?
Use your own stories and personal knowledge to enrich the topic. Ask questions and involve the audience if you can.
6. What else can I use?

Revealing facts, figures and interesting quotes & anecdotes.
7. Do I have to be an expert performer?
No, just think about what is it that makes you different/unique and be you – don’t try to be like anyone else.
8. How much time do I need to plan and practice?

Churchill said “For every minute I speak I take an hour to prepare and practice” So 10mins = 10 hours!
9. How can I ensure they go away with something of value?
Do your research and ask yourself what THEY really need/want from you.
10. What skills do I need to improve in order to be a successful public speaker?

Breath control, voice tone and variety, stress patterns, clarity of diction, planning and organisation, creating rapport and humour. How? Get a voice coach of course!!