I sometimes ask myself how much I listen to people and how much I talk.   If I ‘m honest I probably talk more than I listen on most training days,  of course I am naturally listening much more when I am coaching. 

So today, as most of the participants were experienced professionals I decided to have a “listening”  coaching style day even though I was actually training.  It was very interesting.

I asked more questions of people in the room and really focused on listening to their answers.  I summarised what people said respectfully and gave them the space and time to explore their ideas and suggestions.  I didn’t butt in with my own ideas but held a professional conversation with people knowing they would come up with solutions. 

During the activities I selected one of the participants to monitor the dialogue and got everyone to feedback to this person while I observed.   We repeated this several times as it was very popular.  I initiated discussions by questioning and reflecting on what had gone before and then just stood back to see what happened.

Naturally they spotted the my style had changed and I asked them if they felt the new way of training was as effective.  The response was very positive.  They enjoyed the freedom to share ideas and expand their thinking.  They liked the way several of the group who did not usually participate came up with ideas and solutions.   The self-monitoring was also popular and even though this coaching style of training was new to them, they really enjoyed it. 

I do not necessarily think this style would always be as successful, particularly if the subject matter was entirely new or the participants were not used to creative thinking.  However I do think that it will always be worth trying in future as the feedback was excellent and I really felt that the participants were stretched in a way that had not happened before in our sessions.

So, my conclusion is that I will listen more in my training sessions in future and I will allow the participants additional space and time.  In actual fact this method saved time as people felt more comfortable and able to speak without feeling pressured.   I will reflect back more what people have said, to enable them to hear their own ideas and suggestions.  

In meetings too I have  introduced more listening time and I know how really valuable this can be.  When people feel heard they are more creative, when they are listened to they feel empowered.  I have a project manager in the team and I have been astounded by how much more she has contributed of late.  Her ideas have flowed and her confidence grown so that she is producing top quality work.

Let’s listen with both ears for it is said that we were born with two so that listening would be more of a priority than speaking – we only have one mouth!  Somehow we have lost that listening ability, lets redress the balance!

“The quality of our listening will determine the quality of their thinking”

Time to think – Nancy Klein

I decided to clear out my clutter today in order to streamline my office and allow my creative juices to flow!

Some of the clutter were old files of my Language School that I sold in 2000 in order to become a business coach.  I looked through the photos and comments from a variety of people including students, teachers, admin staff and group leaders.  I had forgotten just how many people had passed though the doors since the very start of the school in 1988 and how I had managed to survive!  Particularly as there was so many other language schools in Brighton & Hove.

I was certainly not a particularly good leader when I started the school.  I had had a variety of teaching jobs all over the world and some experience of  setting up and managing businesses.   (I had set up a school in Poland and Switzerland too) so those experiences helped but no real experience of managing a large team of people. 

So what qualities are needed to lead a team effectively and how do we build on them so that staff feel motivated?

In my latest book “Coaching Skills for leaders in the Workplace” How to Books 2009, I list these qualities as crucial:

1. Courage – they feel the fear but do it anyway
2. Passion – a love of what they do and the ability to put it over
3. Humility – they know that they are only as good as their own people
4. Perseverance – where there’s a will there’s a way
5. Compassion – they treat others with respect and kindness
6. Forgiveness – they allow people to learn by their mistakes
7. Patience – showing it both for themselves and others
8. Strong values – authentic, trustworthy, reliable, consultative etc
9. Accountability – take responsibility even when things go wrong
10. Great listening skills – they listen and give constructive feedback

A leader is someone who is prepared to consult with others and not dismiss ideas out of hand.  Someone who has a coaching style whilst keeping an eye on the bottom line and being committed to getting results.  The balance is not always easy and as I looked through all my boxes and read the old minutes of various meetings, I realised that it would have been useful to have demonstrated coaching skills whilst running my school. 

So, how can we be the best leaders of our businesses possible? 

Writing down the qualities above is certainly a good reminder.  It allows me to be aware of the lapses and my own deveopment areas.  It is so vital to support and motivate staff and colleagues in times of change and uncertainty. 

Today I will listen more closely to those who come with opinions different to mine.  I will allow them to be heard and take on board what they have to say.   Perhaps just focusing on one quality each week will strengthen it and allow it to grow – I’ll give it a go!

“Between stimulus and response there is a space

In that space is the power to choose our response

In our response lies our growth and out freedom”    Viktor Frankl

I have just published a book entitled “Coaching Skills for Leaders in the Workplace” How to Books 2009

I have tried to address a gap in the market for managers and leaders who are coaching in their own organisations and who are those of you who support your own staff or those from other departments. 

You may be experienced in coaching or mentoring skills and may or may not have any formal qualifications.   You may also have experience or expertise in the above areas that will support your internal coaching.  As internal coaches or mentors you will have greater knowledge and awareness of the successes, failures and challenges that your organisation is facing.  This can be a great advantage but may also get in the way of coaching successfully as you will see from the case studies in the book. 

The debate as to whether line managers make good coaches is still ongoing and there are a variety of opinions.  Personally I feel that, given the right in depth training and optimal circumstances, most line managers can also learn the art of coaching.  You may form your own opinions by the end of the book, please let me hear them.

As I have written this book I have tried to focus on the challenges that face you as an internal coach or mentor who is balancing the dual roles of manager or leader and coach.  Many of you may be using coaching and mentoring skills as part of your existing management/leadership role.  As many of you have told me you may even have been on a management course where there was a coaching or mentoring element.  I am hoping it will also be a useful study guide for those of you I have met on the courses who are training to be workplace coaches or mentors and who may be following the ILM Coaching & Mentoring in Management Qualifications.

The first chapters of the book concentrate on the key communication skills you will need to be an effective coach.  Later you will be encouraged to explore your own views, attitudes and beliefs and to get a sense of how these will inform or get in the way of your own coaching sessions.   You will discover how important it is to understand your own and your organisation’s value systems and how they can have an impact on those you coach. 

Naturally there are both personal and organisational barriers to coaching and mentoring. Through the case studies and examples you will hopefully be able to overcome most of these.  There will sometimes be occasions when coaching is not appropriate or necessary.  If someone is resistant, for example, or not in the right frame of mind, coaching will not be effective.  In this case it is better to wait until the person is ready and comes to the sessions willingly.  This may not always be possible in the workplace and some of the tools in the latter sections of the book may help to unlock some of the resistance. 

If people are well informed, reassured that sessions are confidential and fully understand the process then resistance is less likely.  There is further information and case studies on how to set up agreements and robust processes to maximise success.

If you are considering introducing a coaching or mentoring programme in your organisation you will find useful ideas in a variety of business cases and clear guidelines on how to set up contracts and systems.  There are chapters on Coaching Supervision and the latest trends in coaching for your guidance and further study.  Finally there are several tools and ideas to stimulate thinking and to enable your coaching support to extend your coachee’s parameters.   It is advisable to read the book as it is written, however it is also possible to dip in and out as you wish and according to your own coaching experience.

I hope you enjoy reading this new coaching book and if you are able please visit www.amazon.co.uk to see the 5 existing reviews and add one if you would like to

Jackie

Coaching can be a very effective way of supporting someone to reach or develop a specific goal.  I thought an executive session I did today in was an example of that  – I was using the GROW model (see below) – This employee is a very competent senior manager but can often focus on what is not going well:

Coach/  What would you like to use this session for?

Coachee/  I’d like to explore the promotion I have been offered 

Coach/ What exactly would you like to achieve by the end of this session?

Coachee/ I’d like to come away with more confidence in my abilities (goal)

Coach/ I see, more confidence….what do you think your key strengths are in your current position? (reality)

Coachee/  Well I seem to be organised and manage to achieve the targets I set for myself and others, but I lack confidence when it comes to things like appraisals and team leadership. 

Coach/  So, I heard you say that you are organised and achieve targets.  You also said that others achieve targets you set for them – is that correct? (reality)

Coachee/ Yes, that’s correct. 

Coach/ If that is so then what is it you are doing that motivates them?

Coachee/ I think I am clear in my delegation and people seem to be able to come to me if there is a problem. 

Coach/ So that sounds as if people trust your judgement and feel they can come to you for guidance, does that sound about right?

Coachee/ Well yes I suppose it does.

Coach/ So would you say that you lead your team well currently?

Coachee/ Yes, now I come to explore it I can see that I am competent in some areas .  However I still feel I lack skills in doing appraisals and team leading team meetings.

Coach/ What would give you more confidence in these areas? (options)

Coachee/ Umm  I think taking a training course in appraisals would help and perhaps joining the local speakers club would help me to feel more confident when facing the whole team together. My wife is a member.

Coach/ So what do you think would be a way forward from here? (Will)

Coachee/ Yes, I think joining the speakers club would be useful so I’ll go along to the next meeting.  Would it be possible to get some appraisal training in the near future?

Coach/ Where could you find out about this?

Coachee/  Umm  I’ll ask HR and see if any courses are being offered.

Coach/ Is there anything else?

Coachee/ No not at present.  I have some ideas to take away and work with now.

 Using the GROW model of Goal, Reality, Options and Way forward this employee managed to build on his strengths and go away from the session feeling more confident.  I have noticed that clients often disregard their strengths and focus on their weaknesses.  If as a coach we can help clients to see the areas where they are confident or more experienced they can then build on these.  It is far more motivating to build confidence from a postion of strength.

Jackie

So there I am with my third book published and on the shelves!  But wait a minute what happened to the other two “Raise Your Glasses Please” & “Speaking on Special Occasions”  and how are they selling?  Well, that’s where the fun starts! 

Publishers do what they are good at – they publish and then they do a little bit of marketing for you and then…..it’s up to you!  I will never forget what my agent said when I brought out my first book on Public Speaking –  her very words were “The publishers buy you as much as they buy the book content”  In other words they look for people who can prove they are good at marketing and promotion.  Well I didn’t really believe that until now, because actually my agent was prooved right, it’s all down to the author to get the books noticed and selling.  So people who are famous get their books sold, regardless.  If you are high profile your books will sell just as your name can be lent to an advertisement or a newspaper article. 

So here we are the Jo Bloggs of the world looking to get our books sold and it takes a lot of effort, sweat and a few frustrated tears!  But hey lets not get too downhearted, after all we HAVE written a book, it is out there and our name is on the cover – that feels as if we’ve achieved something. 

So here I am in my office thinking how can I market both myself and my books?  Well I could hire a PR person to help me (could be good as they know who to call and what to say)  I could try phoning the local radio stations and mags to see if they are interested, I might also walk down on Brighton seafront with a banner (think I’ll give that a miss)  You see where I am going with this don’t you?  Short of  causing a scandal (now there’s an idea!) I am at a loss. 

Of course I am a public speaker and I have presented at conferences in the past so that seems like a solution.  However, how do I get myself in front of the right people for my latest book on “Coaching Skills for leaders in the Workplace” (PR agent again? free book ?) Yes I suppose I could contact all the Personal & Professional Development conferences and those doing Business & Career Development etc..Also I am thinking about the Women in Business and Enterprising Women’s conferences too…umm there’s a possibility they may be looking for speakers and presenters. 

last week I was asked to present at a local event on “The mindset of a winner – how to get and achive goals” which was fun – unpaid but at least 30 people could hear about my book and some even bought it!  Still I would like to reach 3000 if at all possible.   I have had some success on Linkedin.  I asked people to write a review on Amazon in exchange for a free copy of my book and I ‘ve had replies from all over the world.  That was a great way of connecting to like -minded people so that worked. 

Any more ideas out there? I’d welcome your experience and hope you have learned a little from mine too.

Jackie

Today, as the end of 2009 seems to be fast approaching, I decided to reflect on my ten years of executive coaching in both the private and public sectors.  In 1999 I was very excited about my new career.  I was in the throws of selling my language school and had begun coaching colleagues and small business people. 

Do you remember your first client? 

I remember my first real client who was a small business owner who wanted to increase his sales and manage his team of people more effectively.  He was very creative and the experience was such fun for both of us.  He knew I was just starting out and this made the sessions relaxed yet still focused on his own goals and aspirations.  I am in contact with him today as a colleague and service provider.  In 2000 having done a three year coaching course I sold my school and went into full time coaching.  It felt great to be free and working from home, even if it was a little daunting at first. 

I needn’t have worried as I soon managed to build up my clients and got my first internal coaching contact from a large travel firm who employed me for eight months.  The following year I worked for a wide variety of companies coaching managers, executives and teams.

I think that being part of the UK International Coaching Federation really helped to establish strong links to the community and I was invited to present at the first two coaching conferences.

My biggest break came in 2003 when I was asked to join an international team of coaches to roll out a coaching programme for Airbus in France, Germany, Spain and Bristol in the UK.   I was delighted to receive such an excellent opportunity and this contract lasted for three years.  It also gave me the freedom to run coach training for managers in the public sector, and in particular in Education.

Some of the most rewarding work has been for the past eight years where I have been involved with running coaching courses for the Institute of Leadship and Management.  With Julia Miles of Quality Education and Development (QED) we have trained over 150 Kent County Council staff  for the ILM Levels 3 and 5 in Coaching & Mentoring.  In Newcastle and Surrey I have also run ILM courses for more than 100 heads, teachers, learning mentors, AST’s and university staff.  This means that coaching is slowly being embedded in the education system and the results are very encouraging.  More open discussion, staff taking ownership and responsibility for their development and coaching being recognised as a real support for those taking on promotion and added responsibilities. 

It is largely thanks to Julia www.qedcoaching.co.uk and the case studies and input from our ILM participants that I have now written my latest book “Coaching Skills for Leaders in the Workplace”  – this book has been validated by the ILM as a recommended course book for the levels 5 & 7 Coaching & Mentoring in Management.  It has been fun to write and I am looking forward to receiving feedback and comments from both contributors and coaching professionals.

So, all in all I am pleased with the way the past ten years have panned out.  I have gained in knowledge (Coaching Supervision Diploma 2007) and experience both at home and abroad but always feel there is so much more to learn.  I enjoy coaching with ”Clean Language” and have now received a total of eight days training to take this forward for the future. 

So as 2009 draws to a close I end with this quote:

‘We ourselves may feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. but if that drop was not in the ocean, I think the ocean would be less because of that missing drop’   Mother Teresa

I am promoting my latest book on workplace coaching.  Are you a trainer or do you work in HR ? – Please review my latest book “Coaching Skills for Leaders in the Workplace” by How to Books  – you will receive a FREE copy of the book if you reply with your postal address to my profile on linkedin or this blog.  Many thanks.

It has been very gratifying to be able to connect to many people via linkedin and ecademy and to exchange ideas on how to market books and products. There is just so much out there it can sometimes seem a bit daunting.  I do think that investing time in e-networking can be helpful.   It allows people who you may not have seen for a while to re-connect and see what you are up to.  Also there is a wealth of talent/information to draw on and you can feel safe in the knowledge that services have been personally recommended by a colleague. 

I have been invited to do a podcast and a video interview about my book so this is also a great way to raise your profile.  I am lucky in that I know Petra Tiziani who runs a great video production company IDarena.com so I am assured of a good service.  Other ways of networking are to join face to face networking clubs such as The Chamber of Commerce, BNI, BRE or Business Link. 

A colleague Sean Toole has started a Property Networking Club in Brighton’s Metropole Hilton which I was invited to speak at last week.  I spoke to about thirty people on having ”The mindset of a winner”  and I explained how when we start a new project so many people want to tell us that it’s not possible or that the idea isn’t sound etc..I continued by telling a couple of my own stories about how I built up three businesses by not listening to those who would put down my idea.  I surrounded myself with people who supported me and used an acronym I developed:

 IDEA  I=idea D=determination E = enthusi-action A= authenticity 

This helped me to keep focused and develop my ideas from a seed to a strong tree that had firm roots, manageable branches and healthy leaves.  How did I do that – well that’s my next book!

Jackie

I have been thinking about how powerful living in the present can be. Totally free of worry about what happened before, learning from past mistakes but not letting the thoughts around them intrude into the present.  Living without concern that this or that might happen – it might, but then again it might not!  The present is really all we have that we can say with certainty.  It can be a difficult present that bring up future thoughts such as where will the next client come from, or how can I survive in this economic climate?  But if I think of how things are right now, well it’s really not that bad.  I have time to research, time to explore creatively my next steps and my bank balance although not too healthy, is not yet in the red.  Certainly not at the very present moment!!  I am healthy too and feel good.  The sun is pouring through the window of my office as I type this blog and as I look around the first daffodills are attempting to open their buds to the advancing spring.  I am prepared for my coaching workshop with all the handouts ready and I even know in my mind what I am going to cook for dinner. 

We can focus on the gloom and doom around us – and there’s plenty at the present but we can also choose to focus on the present moment and see what advantages that throws up.  Today  – right now for me it throws up time to think, to improve the quality of my attention to what “is”  – using the quiet down time to reflect on what is actually going on for me right now and to nurture what is good in my life and what I can be grateful for.  Do I really want to focus on somewhere I am not, someone I cannot be, what might happen?  That seems to be a kind of self thought distruction.  This does not mean that I am never going to plan for my future but it means that I will not allow frustration or discontent to cloud my present.   It is not the plans or facts that hinder us but our thoughts around them.  When they start to take us over that’s when we become unhappy or anxious.  So what’s right now for me? I am glad that I even have time to stop and notice as I am writing,  that currently these thoughts feel good, calm and light –  like the sun on the daffodills.

The new Institute of Leadership and Management Coaching and Mentoring Qualifications have been put onto the ILM site. I was looking at the differences between the Awards and Certificates and noticed that at Certificate level the supervised coaching hours has increased. This is a definate forward step as people coaching in the workplace need at least 12 hours to practice their skills. In the courses we have been running we have made sure that people are buddy coaching and “hot seat coaching” in the workshops. Hot seat coaching is a wonderful way to learn coaching skills even if it can be a bit daunting at first. It’s a bit like speaking in public for the first time with no idea of the topic!

I have recently completed a coaching supervision diploma with the CSA and another element of the new ILM qualifications is how people are supervised during the training. This is also a great step forward as coaches need support in the first years as they hone their skills. We all need to reflect on our sessions and discover what it was that prompted a certain intervention at a certain time. It is useful to consider the reaction we may have “wanted” our coachee to take and how much we actually influence their decision. Coaching at it’s purest is when the coach can set aside his or her own ideas and suggestions and allow the coachee to develop their own. This is particularly difficult when you are a line manager coaching your direct reports. It is a matter of taking the line manager’s “hat” off, setting aside knowledge you already have and focusing on the present moment without judgement. Easy to say but it needs support and practice to do. Some people have told me they feel it is better not to coach your direct reports, I disagree. If you are a good manager you will be able to use coaching skills whatever the occasion.

For example if you are faced with a member of your staff who is obviously struggling with a problem your normal reaction may be to “fix” the problem for them. If you asked them what they felt would solve the problem you may be surprised at what they come up with. If they ask again you would probably suggest something but if you take the time to listen to their own solutions may just unlock untapped potential. Not only that, you would free up your own time as people would begin to realise you were not always giving them solutions and they start finding their own.

When I frist started coaching I began to ask my staff more about what they thought and I was really amazed at the talent I had overlooked. As a manager people just need your confidence in their ability and then they will grow in self worth. They will begin to believe that their ideas really matter and that they are listened to.

Jackie Arnold

Today has been a good day. I have been commissioned to write a coaching skills book for senior staff and leaders. The book will be put forward to be validated by the ILM as part of their resources for the qualifications in coaching and mentoring at levels 5 & 7.

Here’s the blurb:

“This exciting new book is for coaches working in leadership and management positions. It aims to provide the knowledge, skills and confidence to perform effectively as coaches as part of your normal work role. In addition the book aims to support you when moving into a development role within your organisations or to freelance as a management coach. This book serves as a guide for both coaches and executives to enable good decisions and develop skills to inspire and motivate others”

I would like to contact anyone who has run the ILM courses in Management Coaching & mentoring to compare notes. It would be useful to see how and where coaching has been implemented in the workplace and if organisations have used internal or external coaches, or both. It would also be interesting to gain knowledge of the impact coaching has had on the workplace and if there are any hard facts and statistics available to back up the bottom line results of coaching.

I have helped to deliver these courses over the past four years both in the private and public sector. The diverse groups have been both challenging and motivating – from the Fire Service, The Education Sector and NHS to IT companies, manufactoring and law firms. This book will be a great challenge and keep me very busy for the next eight months or so. I am excited about the project and hope that you will get in touch with your experiences and case studies. Any contributions will be acknowledged.

Next week on 15th Feb in Brighton we are delivering an action packed workshop “One Day Introduction to Coaching” Do come along if you are able as this is the lowest price it will ever be at £80 + one free place to a second booking. We aim to make it fun and you will go away with real coaching skills to try out in the workplace.

Jackie Arnold